{"id":1102,"date":"2025-11-06T16:23:35","date_gmt":"2025-11-06T14:23:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rotarytransilvania.ro\/?p=1102"},"modified":"2025-11-06T17:22:00","modified_gmt":"2025-11-06T15:22:00","slug":"iubirea-romantismul-sunt-peste-tot-nu-i-asa-diana-cremene","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rotarytransilvania.ro\/index.php\/2025\/11\/06\/iubirea-romantismul-sunt-peste-tot-nu-i-asa-diana-cremene\/","title":{"rendered":"O analiz\u0103 a iubirii romantice \u00een societate"},"content":{"rendered":"

Iubirea. Romantismul. Sunt peste tot, nu-i a\u0219a? De c\u00e2nd suntem mici le vedem \u00een filme, \u00een mass-media, \u00een via\u021ba de zi cu zi, auzim despre ele din muzic\u0103 \u0219i de la oamenii din jurul nostru. Adul\u021bii vorbesc despre un viitor \u00een care tu, da, tu, e\u0219ti c\u0103s\u0103torit \u0219i ai copii. Toat\u0103 lumea vorbe\u0219te despre acest subiect ca \u0219i cum ar fi cel mai natural lucru, ca \u0219i cum ar fi ceva de care ai nevoie pentru a fi fericit \u0219i a avea o via\u021b\u0103 \u00eemplinit\u0103. Exist\u0103 conceptul de suflet pereche, jum\u0103tatea ta, care te va completa \u0219i va pune cap\u0103t suferin\u021bei tale presupuse. Mul\u021bumesc pentru asta, Platon! Aceast\u0103 retoric\u0103 care ne-a fost insuflat\u0103 \u00een creier \u00eenc\u0103 din copil\u0103rie este numit\u0103 de Elizabeth Brake, filozoaf\u0103 american\u0103 \u0219i profesoar\u0103 de filozofie la Universitatea Rice, amatonoromativitate \u0219i, dup\u0103 cum vei vedea, este str\u00e2ns legat\u0103 de allonormativitate, heteronormativitate, precum \u0219i de heterosexualitatea obligatorie.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00cen acest articol vei afla ce \u00eenseamn\u0103 termenii de mai sus, de ce e important s\u0103 \u0219tim ce sunt ace\u0219tia, cum ne afecteaz\u0103 din punct de vedere individual, dar \u0219i colectiv. Subiectele abordate sunt foarte complexe \u0219i vaste.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201e Amatonormativitatea este ansamblul presupunerilor sociale conform c\u0103rora toat\u0103 lumea prosper\u0103 \u00eentr-o rela\u021bie romantic\u0103 exclusiv\u0103. Elizabeth Brake a inventat acest neologism pentru a surprinde presupunerile sociale despre romantism. Brake a vrut s\u0103 descrie presiunea pe care a primit-o din partea multora pentru a acorda prioritate c\u0103s\u0103toriei \u00een propria via\u021b\u0103, c\u00e2nd ea nu dorea acest lucru. Amatonormativitatea dep\u0103\u0219e\u0219te presiunile sociale pentru c\u0103s\u0103torie \u0219i include presiuni generale legate de romantism \u201e. Cuv\u00e2ntul \u201eamato\u201d vine din latin\u0103 \u0219i \u00eenseamn\u0103 \u201eiubit\u201d \u0219i \u201enormativitate\u201d se refer\u0103 la \u201ecaracterul a ceea ce tinde s\u0103 constituie o norm\u0103\u201d.\u00a0 Dup\u0103 cum am spus \u0219i \u00een introducere, exist\u0103 ideea aceasta c\u0103 scopul vie\u021bii este de a te c\u0103s\u0103tori \u0219i de a te reproduce. Mergi la \u0219coal\u0103, faci o facultate, \u00ee\u021bi g\u0103se\u0219ti un job bun, te c\u0103s\u0103tore\u0219ti \u0219i ai copii, iar dup\u0103 aceea mori. Is that all there is to life? Nu pot s\u0103 num\u0103r de c\u00e2te ori am auzit-o pe mama spun\u00e2ndu-mi s\u0103-mi g\u0103sesc un so\u021b bun. Sau de c\u00e2te ori atunci c\u00e2nd le-am spus unor persoane, de exemplu unor profesoare, c\u0103 nu vreau copii, au reac\u021bionat instinctiv, str\u00e2mb\u00e2ndu-se, de parc\u0103 am spus cea mai oribil\u0103 chestie. Sau lu\u00e2nd o atitudine de \u201elas\u0103 c\u0103 \u0219tiu eu mai bine\u201d\u00a0 \u0219i\u00a0 r\u0103spunz\u00e2ndu-mi, without fail, \u201eo s\u0103 vezi tu c\u00e2nd mai cre\u0219ti\u201d. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u00cen plus, este prezent\u0103 frica aceasta, care \u00ee\u0219i are originile din spusele altora, care se afl\u0103 continuu \u00een subcon\u0219tientul meu, eu refuz s\u0103 o cred, c\u0103 toate prietenele mele se vor a\u0219eza la casele lor, iar dac\u0103 nu \u00eemi \u00eentemeiez \u0219i eu o familie, voi r\u0103m\u00e2ne singur\u0103 \u0219i trist\u0103. Observ \u0219i atitudinea unor oameni care vor disperat s\u0103 fie \u00eentr-o rela\u021bie romantic\u0103 \u0219i cred c\u0103 dac\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i g\u0103sesc sufletul pereche toate problemele lor vor disp\u0103rea \u0219i vor tr\u0103i ferici\u021bi p\u00e2n\u0103 la ad\u00e2nc b\u0103tr\u00e2ne\u021bi. Dar oare, dac\u0103 nu suntem ferici\u021bi singuri, putem fi ferici\u021bi \u00eentr-o rela\u021bie? Tipul acesta de persoane de multe ori ignor\u0103 rela\u021biile platonice \u0219i familiale care pot \u0219i ele s\u0103-\u021bi ofere acela\u0219i nivel de satisfac\u021bie emo\u021bional\u0103, dar p\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103 \u0219i ei sunt victime ale amatonormativita\u021bii. Vreau s\u0103 men\u021bionez c\u0103 rela\u021biile romantice nu sunt superioare altora. Nu-mi place fraza \u201emore than friends\u201d, pentru c\u0103 este folosit\u0103 pentru a submina prietenia \u00een general, dar \u0219i mai ales \u00eentre persoane de sex opus. Pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 aceasta, persoanele care sunt singure sunt de multe ori privite de sus sau cu mil\u0103. Exist\u0103 stereotipul de \u201efata b\u0103tr\u00e2n\u0103\u201d care locuie\u0219te singur\u0103 cu pisicile ei, de parc\u0103 ar fi ceva r\u0103u. Unii oameni ar putea r\u0103m\u00e2ne \u00een rela\u021bii nes\u0103n\u0103toase din cauz\u0103 c\u0103 le e fric\u0103 s\u0103 fie singuri. C\u0103s\u0103toria aduce \u0219i ni\u0219te privilegii de care un cuplu nec\u0103s\u0103torit nu ar putea beneficia, dar poate aduce \u0219i dezavantaje. De exemplu, persoanele infirme \u00ee\u0219i pot pierde beneficiile dac\u0103 se c\u0103s\u0103toresc.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0Toat\u0103 lumea e afectat\u0103 de amatonormativitate \u00eentr-un fel sau altul, indiferent care este orientarea lor sexual\u0103 sau genul. Afecteaz\u0103 \u00een special persoanele care sunt asexuale, aromantice, aroace sau poliamoroase. Poliamoria poate fi marginalizat\u0103 din cauza presupunerii larg r\u0103sp\u00e2ndite c\u0103 iubirea romantic\u0103 \u0219i sexual\u0103 este \u00een mod inert monogam\u0103. Exist\u0103 diferite tipuri de atrac\u021bie de\u0219i ele pot exista \u00een acela\u0219i timp, nu se exclud reciproc. Exist\u0103 atrac\u021bia romantic\u0103, atrac\u021bia sexual\u0103, atrac\u021bia platonic\u0103, atrac\u021bia estetic\u0103, atrac\u021bia emo\u021bional\u0103, atrac\u021bia senzual\u0103 etc. A\u0219a cum am spus, ele sunt separate \u0219i este posibil ca un individ s\u0103 nu le simt\u0103 pe toate.<\/span> Persoanele asexuale pot sim\u021bi o atrac\u021bie sexual\u0103 redus\u0103 sau inexistent\u0103, iar persoanele aromantice se reg\u0103sesc \u00een acea\u0219i situa\u021bie, doar cu atrac\u021bia romantic\u0103. Asexualitatea \u0219i aromantismul sunt termeni umbrel\u0103 (umbrella terms). Acestea acoper\u0103 o gam\u0103 larg\u0103 de lucruri conectate, av\u00e2nd mai multe identit\u0103\u021bi care difer\u0103 par\u021bial, dar care se \u00eencadreaz\u0103 \u00een ace\u0219ti termeni. O persoan\u0103 asexual\u0103 nu este neap\u0103rat \u0219i aromantic\u0103, adic\u0103 poate nu simte atrac\u021bie sexual\u0103, dar poate sim\u021bi atrac\u021bie romantic\u0103 \u0219i viceversa. \u00cens\u0103, exist\u0103 persoane care nu simt nici atrac\u021bie sexual\u0103, nici romantic\u0103 \u0219i se numesc aroaces. C\u00e2nd vorbim despre persoane care sunt asexuale intr\u0103 \u00een joc \u0219i allonormativitatea.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201e Allonormativitatea este ideea c\u0103 to\u021bi oamenii simt atrac\u021bie sexual\u0103 \u0219i romantic\u0103. Este for\u021ba care sus\u021bine sexualitatea obligatorie (compulsory sexuality), sistemele \u0219i structurile sociale care privilegiaz\u0103 sau \u00eencurajeaz\u0103 rela\u021biile sexuale \u00een detrimentul indivizilor singuri. \u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Deoarece societatea noastr\u0103 se a\u0219teapt\u0103 ca toat\u0103 lumea s\u0103 simt\u0103 \u0219i atrac\u021bie sexual\u0103 \u0219i atrac\u021bie romantic\u0103, persoanele care nu le simt nu sunt reprezentate \u00een mass-media. De asemenea, dac\u0103 nu e\u0219ti \u00een col\u021burile \u201epotrivite\u201d ale internetului poate fi prima dat\u0103 c\u00e2nd auzi despre ace\u0219ti termeni. Astfel, mul\u021bi oameni nici nu \u0219tiu c\u0103 aceste persoane chiar exist\u0103. Oamenii asexuali \u0219i aromantici \u00ee\u0219i pot tr\u0103i \u00eentreaga via\u021b\u0103, crez\u00e2nd c\u0103 este ceva \u00een neregul\u0103 cu ei, din cauza faptului c\u0103 nu se potrivesc cu a\u0219tept\u0103rile pe care societatea le are de la ei. Mai mult dec\u00e2t at\u00e2t, de multe ori, aceste orient\u0103ri nu sunt luate \u00een serios, \u00een unele cazuri nici m\u0103car de membrii LGBTQIA+ (\u201eA\u201d-ul aici reprezint\u0103 persoanele asexuale, aromantice \u0219i agender). Asexualitatea este considerat\u0103 de unii oameni \u201eo boal\u0103 mintal\u0103\u201d, ceva ce trebuie reparat. Persoanele aromantice sunt adeseori numite \u201erobo\u021bi\u201d \u0219i au aceea\u0219i experien\u021b\u0103 ca \u0219i persoanele asexuale. \u00cen acela\u0219i timp, aud frecvent c\u0103 au nevoie de ajutor profesional \u0219i c\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103 nu \u0219i-au g\u0103sit persoana potrivit\u0103.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201e Heteronormativitatea este convingerea c\u0103 a fi heterosexual sau a fi atras de sexul opus este orientarea sexual\u0103 natural\u0103 \u0219i acceptat\u0103. Se bazeaz\u0103 pe binaritatea de gen care se refer\u0103 la clasificarea genurilor \u00een dou\u0103 forme distincte: masculin \u0219i feminin. \u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Cultura heteronormativ\u0103 privilegiaz\u0103 heterosexualitatea ca fiind normal\u0103 \u0219i natural\u0103 \u0219i favorizeaz\u0103 un climat \u00een care persoanele LGBT sunt discriminate \u00een ceea ce prive\u0219te c\u0103s\u0103toria, codurile fiscale \u0219i angajarea. Oamenii sunt privi\u021bi ciudat dac\u0103 nu se \u00eencadreaz\u0103 \u00een binaritatea de gen.<\/span><\/p>\n

Heterosexualitatea obligatorie, cunoscut\u0103 adesea ca \u0219i comphet (compulsory heterosexuality) a fost propus\u0103 pentru prima dat\u0103 de poeta \u0219i scriitoarea feminist\u0103 lesbian\u0103 Adrienne Rich, \u00een eseul s\u0103u \u201eHeterosexualitatea obligatorie \u0219i existen\u021ba lesbian\u0103\u201d, scris \u00een 1978 \u0219i publicat \u00een 1980. \u00cen prefa\u021ba eseului, Rich m\u0103rturise\u0219te c\u0103 a compus aceast\u0103 lucrare at\u00e2t ca o provocare la adresa \u0219tergerii identit\u0103\u021bii lesbiene, c\u00e2t \u0219i ca o provocare la adresa femeilor heterosexuale, pentru a-\u0219i examina propria pozi\u021bie \u00een cadrul ordinii sociale. Apoi, termenul a redevenit popular datorit\u0103 unei post\u0103ri f\u0103cute pe Tumblr \u00een 2018 care con\u021binea a\u0219a-numitul \u201eAm I a Lesbian\u201d masterdoc creat de o persoan\u0103 care avea 19 ani atunci. Urm\u0103toarea defini\u021bie provine de acolo:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201e \u201eObligatoriu\u201d este opusul lui \u201eop\u021bional\u201d. \u201eHeterosexualitatea obligatorie\u201d este exact ceea ce pare – a fi heterosexual este ceva ce cultura noastr\u0103 \u00eencearc\u0103 s\u0103 ne impun\u0103. Afecteaz\u0103 persoanele de orice gen, dar a fost studiat\u0103 \u00een principal ca ceva care afecteaz\u0103 femeile. Acest lucru se datoreaz\u0103 faptului c\u0103 heterosexualitatea obligatorie se leag\u0103 u\u0219or de misoginia care face ca sexualitatea \u0219i chiar identitatea femeilor s\u0103 fie definite de rela\u021biile noastre cu b\u0103rba\u021bii. \u201d\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

O chestie pe care atunci c\u00e2nd am citit-o \u201em-a lovit\u201d (\u0219i m\u0103 simt un pic ru\u0219inat\u0103 s\u0103 recunosc asta):<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u201eYou mistake the desire for male approval as attraction. You don\u2019t necessarily want a relationship with men, but you want men to want a relationship with you. \u201d = \u201eConfuzi dorin\u021ba de a fi acceptat\u0103 de b\u0103rba\u021bi cu atrac\u021bie. Nu vrei neap\u0103rat o rela\u021bie cu b\u0103rba\u021bii, dar vrei ca b\u0103rba\u021bii s\u0103 vrea o rela\u021bie cu tine. \u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u0219i mi-a amintit de un citat de John Berger:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201eA woman must continually watch herself. She is almost continually accompanied by her own image of herself. Whilst she is walking across a room or whilst she is weeping at the death of her father, she can scarcely avoid envisaging herself walking or weeping. From earliest childhood she has been taught and persuaded to survey herself continually. And so she comes to consider the surveyor and the surveyed within her as the two constituent yet always distinct elements of her identity as a woman. She has to survey everything she is and everything she does because how she appears to men, is of crucial importance for what is normally thought of as the success of her life. Her own sense of being in herself is supplanted by a sense of being appreciated as herself by another….<\/span><\/p>\n

One might simplify this by saying: men act and women appear. <\/span>Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at<\/b>.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/h1>\n

Heterosexualitatea obligatorie afecteaz\u0103 \u0219i b\u0103rba\u021bii, deoarece are nevoie s\u0103 fie sus\u021binut\u0103 at\u00e2t de femei c\u00e2t \u0219i de b\u0103rba\u021bi. Astfel, \u201e<\/span>Tolman, Spencer, Rosen-Reynoso \u0219i Porche au descoperit c\u0103 chiar \u0219i b\u0103rba\u021bii heterosexuali au raportat c\u0103 au fost afecta\u021bi negativ de heterosexualitatea obligatorie, fiind educa\u021bi s\u0103 curteze agresiv femeile \u0219i prin interac\u021biunile pe care societatea le permite s\u0103 le aib\u0103 cu al\u021bi b\u0103rba\u021bi. \u201e .<\/span><\/p>\n

Un lucru care trebuie men\u021bionat este faptul c\u0103 uneori ideea de compulsory heterosexuality este folosit\u0103 pentru a ignora experien\u021bele femeilor bisexuale de c\u0103tre unele feministe radicale (radfem).<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Nu sunt sigur\u0103 cum ar trebui s\u0103 \u00eenchei acest articol, dar pot s\u0103 spun urm\u0103toarele: amatonormativitatea, allonormativitatea, heteronormativitatea \u0219i heterosexualitatea obligatorie ne afecteaz\u0103 pe to\u021bi, \u00eentr-un fel sau altul. Ca s\u0103 le combatem cred c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 \u0219tim ce sunt \u0219i cum func\u021bioneaz\u0103, s\u0103-i inform\u0103m pe al\u021bii, s\u0103 le recunoa\u0219tem c\u00e2nd apar \u00een via\u021ba noastr\u0103 de zi cu zi ca s\u0103 nu ne d\u0103uneze \u0219i s\u0103 avem compasiune pentru cei diferi\u021bi de noi care sufer\u0103 mai mult din cauza acestor norme sociale.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Am vrut s\u0103 scriu acest articol pentru ca oamenii s\u0103 se \u00een\u021beleag\u0103 mai bine pe ei \u00een\u0219i\u0219i \u0219i pe ceilal\u021bi. Vreau ca toat\u0103 lumea s\u0103 \u0219tie c\u0103 este \u00een regul\u0103 s\u0103 nu te \u00eencadrezi \u00een tiparele pe care societatea le impune \u0219i c\u0103 nu trebuie s\u0103 ai o rela\u021bie romantic\u0103 \u0219i\/sau sexual\u0103 sau s\u0103 sim\u021bi aceste tipuri de atrac\u021bie pentru a fi fericit. C\u00e2nd vine vorba de persoanele care \u201dfac parte din norm\u0103\u201d , trebuie s\u0103 fie con\u0219tien\u021bi c\u0103 exist\u0103 diferite tipuri de oameni cu experien\u021be diferite \u0219i c\u0103 \u0219i ei sunt fiin\u021be umane \u0219i merit\u0103 respect.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sper c\u0103 ai aflat ceva nou \u0219i recomand din suflet s\u0103 cercetezi mai bine subiectele discutate, deoarece \u00een acest articol am reu\u0219it s\u0103 acop\u0103r doar o mic\u0103 parte din ele.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Surse \u0219i alte materiale:<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Amatonormativity<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

https:\/\/ro.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Amatonormativitate<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

Youtube video de Tara Mooknee – Amatonormativity <\/span>Amatonormativity<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Allonormativity<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

https:\/\/ro.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Asexualitate<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

https:\/\/lgbtqia.fandom.com\/wiki\/Asexual<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

https:\/\/lgbtqia.fandom.com\/wiki\/Aromantic<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

Youtube video de JaidenAnimations <\/span>Being Not Straight<\/span><\/a> aroace experience\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Compulsory_heterosexuality#In_men<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

https:\/\/www.pagingdrlesbian.com\/p\/queer-theory-101-compulsory-heterosexuality<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

https:\/\/www.docdroid.net\/N46Ea3o\/copy-of-am-i-a-lesbian-masterdoc-pdf<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

https:\/\/posgrado.unam.mx\/musica\/lecturas\/Maus\/viernes\/AdrienneRichCompulsoryHeterosexuality.pdf<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/@AceDadAdvice<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Iubirea. Romantismul. Sunt peste tot, nu-i a\u0219a? De c\u00e2nd suntem mici le vedem \u00een filme, \u00een mass-media, \u00een via\u021ba de zi cu zi, auzim despre ele din muzic\u0103 \u0219i de la oamenii din jurul nostru. Adul\u021bii vorbesc despre un viitor \u00een care tu, da, tu, e\u0219ti c\u0103s\u0103torit \u0219i ai copii. Toat\u0103 lumea vorbe\u0219te despre acest […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":46,"featured_media":1108,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1102","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-social"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rotarytransilvania.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1102","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rotarytransilvania.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rotarytransilvania.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rotarytransilvania.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/46"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rotarytransilvania.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1102"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/rotarytransilvania.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1102\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1117,"href":"https:\/\/rotarytransilvania.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1102\/revisions\/1117"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rotarytransilvania.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1108"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rotarytransilvania.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1102"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rotarytransilvania.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1102"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rotarytransilvania.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1102"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}