{"id":281,"date":"2024-10-15T13:00:54","date_gmt":"2024-10-15T11:00:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rotarytransilvania.ro\/?p=281"},"modified":"2025-06-30T23:33:59","modified_gmt":"2025-06-30T21:33:59","slug":"m-am-modelat-dupa-tine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rotarytransilvania.ro\/index.php\/2024\/10\/15\/m-am-modelat-dupa-tine\/","title":{"rendered":"M-am modelat dup\u0103 tine…"},"content":{"rendered":"

Autori: Mira Palimariu, Maria Dejeu, Alexandra Bura, Madi Blaga, Sophie Popa<\/p>\n

–<\/p>\n

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M-am modelat dup\u0103 tine\u2026 \u0219i nu \u00een sensul cli\u0219eic. Nu am vrut s\u0103 fiu ca tine, s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi demonstrez c\u00e2t te iubesc. \u0218tiam c\u0103 oricum vei pleca. S-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat f\u0103r\u0103 voia mea, \u00eencet \u0219i subtil, la \u00eenceput nici nu am observat. Apoi, ori de c\u00e2te ori priveam \u00eenspre o oglind\u0103, te vedeam. M\u0103 speriam. Voiam s\u0103 scap. Dar urmele deja erau prea ad\u00e2nci. \u00centr-un final, m-am obi\u0219nuit. Acum mi se pare firesc. Toat\u0103 fiin\u021ba ta s-a contopit cu a mea at\u00e2t de mult, \u00eenc\u00e2t nici nu mai sesizez diferen\u021bele. Suntem unul. M-ai modelat. Sau, mai bine zis, m-am modelat singur\u0103. Cu precau\u021bie, crez\u00e2nd c\u0103 nu voi c\u0103dea \u00een capcana de a-\u021bi fura personalitatea, obiceiurile, chiar \u0219i anumite fraze, \u00eentru totul. Dar nu am fost destul de atent\u0103, a\u0219a c\u0103 acum tot ce \u00eemi r\u0103m\u00e2ne de f\u0103cut este s\u0103 \u00eenv\u0103\u021b s\u0103 m\u0103 accept. O nou\u0103 versiune a mea, cu tine. Doar c\u0103 f\u0103r\u0103 tine.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

M-am modelat dup\u0103 tine p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd am r\u0103mas f\u0103r\u0103 lut \u00een suflet. Am r\u0103mas f\u0103r\u0103 esen\u021ba iubirii mele pentru tine. Am r\u0103mas f\u0103r\u0103 flutura\u0219ii ce ap\u0103reau de fiecare dat\u0103 c\u00e2nd ochii t\u0103i senini \u00eei \u00eent\u00e2lneau pe ai mei. E vina mea, da. Mi-a fost fric\u0103 s\u0103 te iubesc nemodelat, neclar. \u0218i nici \u021bie nu \u021bi-ar fi pl\u0103cut. Dac\u0103-mi cream iubirea f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 tri\u0219ez \u0219i s\u0103 m\u0103 uit la cum o creezi tu pe a ta, dac\u0103 nu furam culori, modele \u0219i forme din cum \u021bi-ai f\u0103cut tu iubirea pentru mine, a\u0219 fi riscat s\u0103 nu-\u021bi plac\u0103. S\u0103 nu-\u021bi plac\u0103 ce simt pentru tine.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

De\u0219i\u2026 cred c\u0103 dac\u0103 nu mi-era at\u00e2t de fric\u0103 s\u0103-\u021bi simt posibila dezam\u0103gire a\u0219 fi ales s\u0103 te iubesc nemodelat. S\u0103 te iubesc dezordonat, zgomotos \u0219i sincer. Pentru c\u0103 am \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat c\u0103 \u0219i tu m\u0103 iube\u0219ti nemodelat, \u00eens\u0103 \u021bie nu \u021bi-e fric\u0103. Eu te iubesc oricum, \u00eens\u0103 mi-e team\u0103 c\u0103 e prea t\u00e2rziu s\u0103 ies din tiparul creat.<\/span><\/p>\n

Pot s\u0103 mai \u00eencerc o dat\u0103? Promit s\u0103 r\u0103m\u00e2n nemodelat\u0103.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

M-am modelat dup\u0103 tine, te-am l\u0103sat s\u0103 m\u0103 schimbi pentru a-\u021bi deveni \u201epotrivirea perfect\u0103\u201d, m-ai \u00eendoit cu nep\u0103sare \u0219i acum \u00ee\u021bi v\u0103d amprentele de fiecare dat\u0103 c\u00e2nd m\u0103 privesc. Dorin\u021ba ta mi-a fost dictator, impun\u00e2ndu-mi o form\u0103 \u00een care nu m\u0103 mai recunosc \u0219i pe care nimeni nu o va mai putea schimba vreodat\u0103. M-ai f\u0103cut astfel \u00eenc\u00e2t s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi pot purta toate nep\u0103s\u0103rile, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 te g\u00e2nde\u0219ti c\u0103 pere\u021bii \u00eemi deveneau tot mai sub\u021biri, ajung\u00e2nd la o fragilitate de care ai profitat la maxim. Apoi ai plecat cu m\u00e2inile murdare de lut, smulg\u00e2ndu-mi buc\u0103\u021bi din mine la a c\u0103ror recuperare pot doar visa. Ai plecat cu at\u00e2t de mult\u0103 u\u0219urin\u021b\u0103 arz\u00e2ndu-mi toat\u0103 fiin\u021ba \u0219i asigur\u00e2ndu-te c\u0103 ceea ce mi-ai f\u0103cut va r\u0103m\u00e2ne pe veci sculptat \u00een mine. Cuptorul suferin\u021bei \u021bi-a definitivat lucrarea, pe care \u00eenc\u0103 \u00eencerc s\u0103 o modific, dar acum \u00een loc s\u0103-mi schimb u\u0219or forma, fiecare \u00eencercare se las\u0103 cu sute de cioburi imposibil de recuperat.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

M-am modelat dup\u0103 tine \u0219i m-am ales cu o persoan\u0103 pe care nici eu nu o mai recunosc. Sper c\u0103 am fost ultima ta oper\u0103, pentru c\u0103 tu ai avut grij\u0103 s\u0103 fii ultimul meu artist.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

M-am modelat dup\u0103 tine, dar tot m-am cr\u0103pat. \u00cenc\u0103 de la \u00eenceput lutul din care am fost f\u0103cut\u0103 a t\u00e2njit dup\u0103 atingerea ta. Lutul e moale, \u00ee\u021bi las\u0103 m\u00e2inile p\u0103tate de s\u00e2ngele cleios al vulnerabilit\u0103\u021bii. Dar nimic nu e etern, nici chiar lutul.<\/span><\/p>\n

Timpul trece \u0219i lutul se usuc\u0103, timpul trece \u0219i simt cum pe la col\u021buri \u00eencep s\u0103 m\u0103 despic. Fa\u021ba de mas\u0103 cu flori din sufragerie e acum ud\u0103 \u0219i p\u0103tat\u0103. Ud\u0103 cu lacrimi de patim\u0103, amintiri \u00eensufle\u021bite, promisiuni \u00eenc\u0103lcate \u0219i cuvinte goale. Vezi tu, aceste cr\u0103p\u0103turi sunt ad\u00e2nci, greu de observat la \u00eenceput, dar persistente \u0219i ap\u0103s\u0103toare pe suprafa\u021ba mea neuniform\u0103. M-am tot cr\u0103pat \u0219i m-am lipit la loc, \u00eencerc\u00e2nd s\u0103-mi prelungesc agonia, vr\u00e2nd ca tu s\u0103 fii ultimul care \u00ee\u0219i las\u0103 amprenta asupra mea. \u201eTu e\u0219ti cel care m\u0103 poate sc\u0103pa de aceste r\u0103ni, tu m\u0103 po\u021bi modela.\u201d \u00ee\u021bi strigam \u00eenecat\u0103 de am\u0103r\u0103ciune. Timpul trece, am t\u0103cut \u0219i am stat \u00een remu\u0219care, sec\u0103tuit\u0103 de puteri a\u0219tept\u00e2ndu-te s\u0103 m\u0103 repari, a\u0219tept\u00e2ndu-te s\u0103 ne repari. Dar timpul pentru tine era doar un zvon \u00eendep\u0103rtat, cel mai probabil, nici m\u0103car adev\u0103rat.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

C\u00e2nd sf\u00e2r\u0219itul s-a apropiat ai remarcat \u00een sf\u00e2r\u0219it fa\u021ba de mas\u0103, muceg\u0103it\u0103 acum, \u0219i te-ai gr\u0103bit s\u0103-mi petice\u0219ti \u00eencheieturile julite \u0219i col\u021burile r\u0103nite, dar interiorul \u00eemi era deja uscat, tare ca piatra, impenetrabil. Nu mai puteai ajunge la mine, c\u0103ci m-am refugiat \u00een propriu-mi sine unde dezam\u0103girea nu mai putea da de mine.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Te-am avertizat de la \u00eenceput\u2026 timpul trece, lutul se usuc\u0103.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sunt propria crea\u021bie ceramic\u0103, dar nu sunt definit\u0103 de o form\u0103 stabil\u0103. Pot s\u0103 fiu cana din care bei zilnic prea mult\u0103 cafea. Pot fi bibelou sau vaz\u0103, s\u0103 fiu nici mai mult nici mai pu\u021bin dec\u00e2t decor \u00een via\u021ba ta. Pot chiar s\u0103 fiu scrumiera de pe m\u0103su\u021ba ta de pe balcon, s\u0103 fac ce trebuie f\u0103cut indiferent de faptul c\u0103 nu te-ai ab\u021binut niciodat\u0103 din a m\u0103 arde. Pot s\u0103 fiu \u0219i s\u0103 fac prea multe, da. Lutul din care m-am autoconstruit este ca proasp\u0103t modelat, sunt etern ajustabil\u0103. V-a\u021bi l\u0103sat amprentele pe mine c\u00e2nd a\u021bi vrut s\u0103 \u00eemi da\u021bi un folos. Sunt suma tuturor experien\u021belor tr\u0103ite, \u0219i oric\u00e2t mi-ar pl\u0103cea ca materialul meu s\u0103 fie amintit ca cel al c\u0103nii de ceai preferate a mamei mele, sau un detaliu elegant al unei piese de decor, ast\u0103zi sunt vaza pr\u0103fuit\u0103 cu flori uscate dintr-un col\u021b des v\u0103zut, dar rar frecventat al casei.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

M-am modelat dup\u0103 tine, iar abia acum \u00eencepe lutul s\u0103 se usuce.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Autori: Mira Palimariu, Maria Dejeu, Alexandra Bura, Madi Blaga, Sophie Popa – M-am modelat dup\u0103 tine\u2026 \u0219i nu \u00een sensul cli\u0219eic. Nu am vrut s\u0103 fiu ca tine, s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi demonstrez c\u00e2t te iubesc. \u0218tiam c\u0103 oricum vei pleca. S-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat f\u0103r\u0103 voia mea, \u00eencet \u0219i subtil, la \u00eenceput nici nu am observat. Apoi, ori […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":42,"featured_media":311,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-281","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-social"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rotarytransilvania.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/281","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rotarytransilvania.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rotarytransilvania.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rotarytransilvania.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/42"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rotarytransilvania.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=281"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/rotarytransilvania.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/281\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":493,"href":"https:\/\/rotarytransilvania.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/281\/revisions\/493"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rotarytransilvania.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/311"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rotarytransilvania.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=281"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rotarytransilvania.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=281"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rotarytransilvania.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=281"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}